Phantasmal Tribulation
by I.Love.Ukes
Summary: Izaya has been having nightmares that are literally scaring him to death and Shinra's friend is the only one who can help... So, why is Shizuo staying with Shinra too?
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own the characters.**

**This story is written up to chapter 12, Edited up to chapter 5 and awaiting a beta reader. I apologize, all other ongoing stories are on hiatus at the moment.**

**This chapter has been updated and edited by Blackrose414 and Beta/edited by Kukasabe Swift. Thank you guys very much for your help and support.**

* * *

The mist surrounds me as I rise from the park bench. My head is pounding. Over and over again it sends waves of pain through me.

_I'm here again. So be it._

"Who's there!?" I yell, grabbing my head in pain as my own voice echoes through my ears, effectively escalating my headache.

So here I am, calling out the same pathetic line for what seems like the hundredth time this month. No one will answer me and eventually I'll give up on asking again. I glance towards a silhouette but the figure is just a shadow, nothing more, or at least that's what I tell myself. It's just a dark silhouette that stares at me from the alleyway, no- stares into my soul, unmoving, and completely silent. No matter how many times I tell myself that it isn't there, it is. I can feel it's stare. It's reading all of my weaknesses.

The haunting form will hang around for a little while before eventually blending into the darkness, until I can no longer tell if it's physically there or not. Though, I will still feel the terror that comes from its gaze.

_I want to hide. I want to crawl away from this fucking scene. _

_I'm so tired... _

I can't really see anything anymore, the fog is getting thicker.

_Curse this dream, this insanity. _

I take a step forward, my hands trembling. I'm absolutely terrified but my smirk remains the same.

I am trapped in this darkness again, following the same routine. I've been here so many times. I know exactly what is happening and yet the fear, the tensing of my quivering muscles, the pain in my head and the nausea in the pit of my stomach, has never faded. Not once.

_Huh? _

_Is there something there? _

A light in the distance captures my attention momentarily. The brightness stings my eyes as my shaking legs carry me toward it.

_Well, this is certainly new. _

As I get closer the light splits into two beaming suns akin to headlights, stinging my eyes and even my mind, reminding me of the pain in my head.

I kneel before a table where two candles are lit on either side. It must be an altar of some kind.

The table is completely over grown, vines with roses swirling around all but the fire itself.

My hands hold a ceramic bowl filled with water that I eventually place on the altar. I look down into the bowl and see my reflection. My eyes are closed and my lips are curved at the ends with a small genuine smile.

_It's disgusting. _

The water must have held a similar thought because it immediately turned black and the plants began to die, withering into nothing but thorns and twigs.

I try with all my might to move from the spot that I'm in but I can't. I can't control this dream; no matter how many times I have tried. I can't seem to take control of this. I can't remove myself from this altar. I can't even change this awful smile on my face.

In no way will you ever find me kneeling before anything relating to a god. Not unless it granted me eternal life, of course. Not unless it could prove with certain fact that it exists and can be of benefit to me.

But no, the only things these dreams have brought me are headaches and sleepless nights.

Yet, here I am, kneeling before an altar.

_Huh? _

_What's that noise? _

_It's that song again. _

I hear a muffled melody that seems to be getting louder.

_I'm... _

_...humming? _

The grin on my face fades as my lips open wide enough for a low whisper to escape, matching the tune of the song.

"I... down... a dream"

And just as quickly as I arrived, I'm ripped out of my slumber, an ache forming in my back from my position on the couch. I used to think it was a comfortable couch but recently I'm not so sure.

I'm so exhausted that I can't even sit down to review some information without closing my eyes.

And every time I wake, I pray to fall back asleep.

_Real sleep. _

The kind that makes you feel rested. The kind of sleep that is dark, black, and without dreams.

* * *

_A month. _

I've been having these dreams for a month now and it feels like I haven't slept in just as long. Though, in all honesty, I've probably been sleeping the entire time.

A peek over to the clock tells me that it's 4:18 in the afternoon.

Another day wasted by sleeping. Eating, failed research, and sleeping. This is my life now.

Shifting uncomfortably, I grab the nearest piece of paper and scribble down the newest details of my dream, but I'm interrupted.

**Bang**… **Bang**… **Bang**…

_Ah, the door. _

I will myself to my feet, staggering and limping along the way as I attempt to stretch my aching muscles. My lack of motivation is certainly effecting my life in all the worst ways because I don't check who is there. I simply unlock the door and make my way back to the leather sofa, my chin supported by the arm rest.

The first to step in is Shinra, someone I expected to see sooner or later, since I haven't been around Ikebukuro.

A roll of my eyes expresses just how happy I am to see him. I'll be honest, the thought has crossed my mind to see him and have him treat me, but he isn't that type of doctor. He's an underground surgeon, more or less. I'm not even sure how much of the mind he truly understands. He isn't stupid, I don't mean that, but he has never specialized in sleep or neurological disorders, if that's even what you would call it. Honestly, even if he could help me, I'd rather not have anyone know that one of Ikebukuro's strongest has a weakness...

_And that weakness is something akin to bad dreams. _

The second person to step in to the room startles me a bit and certainly put me on my guard.

_Why the hell is he here? _

I narrow my eyes at the blonde bodyguard who stands in the background with a scowl as he stares at the floor.

_Pfffft. Don't tell me he's worried about me!? Haha. How silly. _

And just as I was about to tease the monster, Shinra spoke to me in a concerned tone that brought me back down from my potential trolling high.

"What have you been doing?"

His eyes wander the room, realizing exactly what I have been doing...

_...Making a mess of my life. _

Paper is strewn about on the couch, on the floor, on the table, and everywhere else. Coffee cups and sleeping pills in random places. My pillow on the couch, my body lying across it.

"Are you... on a big case? Is it some rough information you're digging for Shiki-san? But I heard you haven't had any clients."

_You're damn right, I haven't had any clients! I haven't even… _

"Yes, it's rough alright! But, I'm actually in the middle of something really important right now. So, if you and your pet are done here then I'm actually going to need you to be on your way."

Shinra stares in my direction with an odd expression. It's not hard to figure out that he knows I'm lying. I don't care as long as he collects that man and himself and leaves my presence. I'm in dire need of sleep even if I have just woken up.

"Why is that stupid brute here, anyway?" I tilt my head a bit to see Shizuo behind Shinra and as soon as my eyes lay on him, it hits me.

_Ah! What a perfect plan! Why didn't I think of it before!? I can just get him to knock me out! _

"Can't wait for me to kill you?" I spit and his eyebrow twitches as he turns toward me.

_It's working! _

Yet he doesn't even budge.

"Well, it's either that or you miss me. Is Ikebukuro lonely without me?" I try to smirk as usual but my mouth falls into an unnatural frown. I grit my teeth as I fan off the very familiar irritation.

Shizuo just stands, his gaze locked on the floor as he exhales the smoke from his cigarette in to the pure air of _my_ apartment.

_C'mon damn it! Hit me! It's the only way! _

_I can't even think properly, I can't even provoke him the way I usually do. He must know something is off with me... but I couldn't care less. _

_I'm desperate. _

_Please Shizuo! You're not good for anything else. You're a waste of air. Just do me one good favor and knock me into that sweet, deep sleep. _

_I would do anything for sleep. Anything. _

And so I choose to lunge from the couch towards him. Before I can cross enough space to reach him, I am reminded that I have done absolutely nothing but try to sleep for almost a month. I fall to the floor as Shizuo pushes his blue shades up his nose and takes yet another drag of his cigarette.

_He's mocking me. _

_The one time I need him to lash out at me, he won't. What is this? _

_Oh, the irony. _

Pulling myself up from the floor, I reach into my pocket, whip out my knife, and run at him once again. My knife successfully pierces his skin and his bleeding arm catches me as my body clumsily crashes into his. His eyes stare into mine, trying to read me and before I know it, I'm plunged into darkness.

_The dark is calming._

_I feel weightless, and absolutely free from the insanity that has been plaguing me._

The tune of a song is carrying me through the wind. The source of this sound inching closer and closer until it is the only thing I hear.

Floating, this darkness takes me away.

_I am blank. _

_I am nothing. _

_Wait, something is wrong here. _

_My name? _

_What was my name? _

_Wasn't I somebody? _

_This sound, something so familiar. _

_Where-? _

"I lay my..."

_Wait... _

"Silence down..."

_No. _

"In a dream..."

_NO! _

"Something ... or so"

_Not this! Anything but this! _

"…old seem."

Shooting straight up from the bed and screaming at the top of my lungs, I awake. A familiar pounding wracks my head as the light hovering above me blinds my vision. Sweat has formed between the lines on my forehead and my hair feels matted to my face.

My throat is burning. I think I'm still screaming but that haunting song is still the only thing I can hear.

That and the pounding of my heart.

I can feel someone's presence but it doesn't make a difference. The soft touch of a hand that tries to console me only aggravates the situation.

_I am Orihara Izaya, the one that no one would want to comfort. _

_Leave me alone! _

_Just stop it! _

_Just stop the sound! I can't rid myself of this nightmare! _

The flashes of white and the dark of my nightmare cycling rapidly create a strobe lighting effect that causes me to grab my head as if holding it still would change anything. Waves of pain shoot into my brain and now randomly into my limbs.

_Just stop the sound. _

_Please. _

Chanting a soft prayer, I focus all of the energy I can muster into one thing, the one thing that I couldn't break my attention from even if I gouged out my eyes; The song. Stopping the song.

_This sound, it just won't stop! _

_Just stop it. _

_Please..._

_Please..._

_Please, kill the sound. _

And just as I am about to give up, the sight of red and sudden pressure all over my body temporarily steals my attention. The horrid tune breaks only for a second, just long enough to hear the deep, drumming pace of my heart...

...and someone's words.

"Damnit Izaya!"

And for the first time in 36 days, I remember what sleep is like.

_The real kind. _


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own the characters.**

**This chapter has been updated and edited by Blackrose414 and Beta/edited by Kukasabe Swift. Thank you guys very much for your help and support.**

* * *

_Have I slept? _

My body feels heavy and my eyes feel like they're glued shut. I try to coax them open, wiggling my eyebrows up and down a few times. Failing miserably, I begin to agree with them, sleeping longer sounds great.

_How long has it really been? _

_How long did I sleep for? _

_Is everything better now? _

_Am I cured? _

Eyes finally flickering open, I take a deep breath in. The room is dim except for the light shining in from the window.

_Ah, I must have slept all night._

_No._

_This isn't my house. This isn't my horribly uncomfortable couch. _

_Shinra's... _

Sitting up and throwing my legs off the side of the bed, I yawn.

_How long has it been since I felt this relaxed? _

As I try to stand, my body tugs at the equipment I'm hooked up to. A sudden wave of anxiety crashing over me as a faint sound becomes apparent. There is a constant beep echoing periodically throughout the room.

My mind instantly cycles through every possible explanation for the sound, but the only thing that keeps coming to mind is that god awful song. The song that haunts my dreams and now plagues me with anxiety as I wake.

My panic fades as my ears finally register the sound.

_The heart monitor. _

_Echoing._

Rubbing my fingers through the thin, dark hair on the back of my head as the pain screams at me, I feel something strange.

_Maybe paper? _

Touching it lightly, I hiss at the immediate agony that shoots through my skull.

_A bandage?_

Standing suddenly, I allow the IV that was in my arm to be pulled out.

Throwing off my gown in a fit, I rip off the leads that were attached to my chest. I look down to find five, maybe six, bandages along with bruises that randomly stain my skin. Not that the bruises are anything new, but there are many, many more than before.

The screech of the monitor, indicating that I no longer have a beating heart, stings my ears even more than the steady beep had just moments before. I lean over, steadily rocking and rubbing my head, trying my best to recover from the pain.

The door opening startles me as both the doctor and the blonde rush in to 'save me.'

One of them yells as I clamp the palms of my hands to the sides of my head.

"Izaya!"

Here I stand bent over naked, shivering and covered in bandages and hardly recognizing either of them. I attempt to deal with the unbearable headache. I was hoping that once I got sleep that this would stop, that the pain would stop.

_But of course not. _

_Why would I be worthy of such a luxury? My luck has been absolute shit lately. _

Shinra urges me to sit back down as he shuts up the horrid howling noise, the torment finally starting to fade away.

Looking around the room, my eyes eventually turn towards my most hated enemy. He turns away from me and my naked appearance. Shinra, noticing the same thing, pulls the blanket up and over me.

_How ridiculous. _

_What the fuck happened to me? _

_I'm littered with bandages, confused as fuck and all anyone in the room is worried about is accidentally seeing my package? _

"Why am I here!?" I yell at the two, their attention snapping to me.

"What the hell did you do to me!?" I hiss, my glare aligning with Shizuo's. His quiet stare only pisses me off more, since when did he learn to bury his anger before he jumped to conclusions or vending machines, for that matter.

"...Izaya..." Of course, Shinra steps between us as he attempts to calm me.

_No. Don't bother. _

"Finally get a free shot at me?" Ignoring Shinra, I continue to accuse the blonde, calming myself and taking control of my tone. I know that if I do this enough he'll have no problem telling me the truth. Especially if it involves him hurting me.

Instead, Shizuo takes a deep breath and leaves the room.

_Are you fucking kidding me? _

_Why is it that he never does what I need him to do? When I finally need him to be the barbaric man that he is, he refuses. _

"Izaya, we need to talk," says Shinra in a soft tone, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I'd say, Are you finally going to tell me what the fuck is going on?" I ask, lowering my mask a bit.

I'm irritated and Shinra's patience seems to be wearing thin. I can't blame him. You can only try to console someone who doesn't want your pity for so long before it becomes pointless.

"Izaya, you're the one who needs to tell us what's going on. I went to your house and it's trashed. You went after Shizuo and I had to sedate you."

My face must reflect just how I feel about that."You're telling me that you just _happened_ to be armed with a sedative when you brought _that_ fucking idiot to my house?"

Taking a deep breath in, I try to calm myself as I lean back against the bed.

"No, I already knew something was up with you. You hadn't been going to Ikebukuro at all! Even Shizuo was figuring you were planning something. I told him that something was probably wrong with you. It didn't seem like you to have a psychotic break-."

"That doesn't give you a right to sedate me when you knew full and well what bringing him around would do. What if he had attacked me?" I cut him off as his face changes to something akin to defensive righteousness.

It's not that being attacked by him is anything new or something to fear, but as much as I'd like to deny it, the fact remains that I am in no shape to continue our little game of cat and mouse.

"Yeah, but can you say I was wrong to come check on you? I already said that he was prepared... Plus, when we got there, as I said, your house was trashed. Shizuo did fantastic, overcoming the urge to beat your thin, sickly face in while _you_ provoked _him_. You lunged at him and he didn't even get angry. You did stab him, but I stuck you with a sedative right after and he carried you here." Shinra's tone softens as he speaks as if I'm supposed to just accept the facts and be done with it.

_Ah, that's right. I was trying to get him to knock me out. _

_Oh geez! Listen to how proud he sounds of our little monster. Though, Shizuo did totally ignore me. He didn't even look annoyed. Maybe I'm losing my touch. _

_Ugh, hell no. I need to get better and fast. _

"None of that explains these bandages," I state, swatting away the memory of defeat.

I wonder if Shinra knows why? If he knows about my nightmares, about my conflict between staying awake or taking the chance to try to get some real sleep. I wonder if he understands the terrifying element of being stuck in a dream, stuck in your own mind completely out of control of everything.

I sit up, hugging my knees as he replies.

"No, you're right. That happened after you awoke from the sedative," he says, his eyes averting from mine.

_Fine, as long as Shizuo didn't do it, I'll deal with it. I want to get out of here. If I tell him, there will be more questions. More and more questions that I'd rather dodge at the moment. _

_I have plenty of secrets including the fact that I have this doctor's girlfriend's head in my apartment, yet he always probes me for the ones **I really don't** want to talk about._

"Okay, whatever," I say, standing to look around for my clothes. "Just give me whatever prescription you gave me to fall asleep and I'll be on my way."

However, Shinra stops me, pushing me back onto the bed with a stern face. "We're not done."

"Wait, you really don't think you can keep m-" I start but he cuts me off.

"There was no prescription! When you woke up you were screaming at the top of your lungs, flailing your arms around and hitting medical equipment! I tried to comfort you but nothing worked!"

_I watch him, his mouth moving, words coming out of his lips. He knows about my nightmares. He knows what is wrong with me. _

"Shizuo tried to calm you, too. He even held you down, but that didn't work either. Eventually, you hit a tray full of scalpels and cut yourself up. Shizuo lost the will to try to control the situation in a non-violent way."

_And worse, Shizuo knows... _

_How embarrassing. This is probably the first time I have ever been ashamed for someone knowing something about me. Definitely the first time I've ever regretted a release of information, even if it was accidental. How could this happen? And will Shizuo take advantage of the fact that my health is not exactly at par? _

"He knocked me out," I plainly state, shaking my head in disbelief. The one thing I had tried in my desperation would have worked if this dumb doctor hadn't interfered.

"Mmhmm," he nods, confirming my suspicions. "You can't keep doing that just to get some sleep, though. Eventually, the brain damage would be just as bad if not worse than your lack of sleep."

_So, I can't even use him for the only thing he's good for? I can't use the one thing I know can give me sleep? Even if I already knew that to begin with, having the doctor tell me sure helps it to sink it in such an unpleasant way._

"Ah! Give me a piece of paper!" I shout, suddenly recalling the new parts of the dream. The new parts of that fucking song.

_I need to keep track of it. _

It's the one last thing I can do to try to stop all of this. It is the only thing that has kept me sane, though it doesn't seem to help. No matter what I tried to dig up on the song... it was all pointless. There was nothing. It doesn't exist.

Shinra watches me as I scribble down the new details, his face cocked to the side.

"What are you doing?" He slides the paper from beneath my hand and starts reading it. Why does he have to be so nosy? So 'concerned' for my well being? I hold this doctor in high regard, but lately his human side is getting to me more and more.

"Just leave me alone!" I snap, snatching the paper back. "It doesn't concern you."

I continue writing down the details and as I finish, Shinra speaks.

"You... You've been keeping track of your night terrors?" He asks as if disbelieving. What's so hard to believe about it? I'm an information broker. Information is both my hobby and my job, so why would it be unusual for me to keep track of something that is so easy to forget?

"Night terrors? Yes, I've been taking notes on my nightmares," I answer in a matter-of-factual tone.

_Who the hell calls them 'night terrors?' _

"No, Izaya, I think you're having night terrors, not nightmares and that's interesting. So, all those papers scattered about in your room... those were your notes?"

_His words suddenly pique my interest. Night terrors? Could that little bit of information change anything? Why hadn't I looked up anything on my actual sleep pattern? I only tried to interpret the dreams... _

_So, maybe it is a disorder after all. _

_Have I been wasting my time? _

"Shinra... What are night terrors?" I ask calmly, hoping that whatever he is about to tell me will solve my whole mystery.

_If it's a disorder then there has to be at least something to fix it... right? Maybe with some therapy and medicine? _

Closing my eyes, I cringe at how desperate I sound even in my own head.

"Night terrors... Izaya, night terrors are essentially nightmares that give you anxiety. They are usually the most vivid dreams you will ever experience, but most people never do. They give you the real sense of dread, paranoia, distress, or fear that is happening in the dream. Truth be told, your dream might not even be all that scary but since your anxiety and paranoia is on high, the sense of dread and impending danger can be felt by your physical being."

A noticeable sigh escapes me.

_So, I have been having nightmares that are fucking with my head? And even causing my body to actually feel these things? _

"How often do 'night terrors' occur?" I ask, hoping that I can find a way to discount them as an option. Suddenly, even though I wanted an answer... I don't want to feel like I wasted my time. Or maybe I just don't want to admit it's possible that I no longer have a hold on my sanity.

_Can these dreams really have no meaning? Could I really be going out of my mind? _

"Eh. Well, it depends on the person. This isn't my area of expertise, I just happen to know a bit about it. My senpai in college was in sleep studies; maybe I can contact him for you."

_Ah! A professional? Yes, yes. This is perfect. _

"Please do."

Shinra's look of concern focuses on me. "You're going to accept help?"

_Yeah, I know. Why do you have to bring attention to all of the things I would like to set aside, hide or at least avoid confrontation of? Why is he the only one that ninety percent of my manipulation skills do not work on? Reminds me of a certain brute..._

_And yeah, it's true. At first I wouldn't even admit that there was a problem... _

_But... _

_How can I deny it? _

"I need this to stop. So, whatever I need to do..." I let him pick up on the rest as I continue jotting down the details of the dream. His gaze traces the cracks in the tile for a moment, maybe trying to imagine what type of pain I would have to be in to drop my ego.

_This is not only getting in the way of my health but it is getting in the way of my job, my hobbies, my life. It's a danger to all that is me, Izaya. _

_It is a disease. _

"Do you need the rest of your notes?" Shinra asks, seemingly trying to find a way, if any, to help me.

"Yeah, I should go home." I sigh, once again, as I speak; this bed is much more comfortable than mine right now. My bed seems to be my mortal enemy at the moment. Well, maybe not the bed itself but what it, and every other 'comfortable' sleeping area, brings me.

I let out a soft hum in relief. Being around people again is starting to make me feel better at least. And with Shizuo around, if I really need it I can just get him to knock me out again. That's comforting at the very least.

"Izaya, I really... I think you should stay here. I know there isn't much of a difference from being here or at your own place, but if you need something I would be here for you. Also, I can treat you as best I can until I can get in contact with Hideki-senpai."

_It's funny; I had already decided to stay before he brought it up... _

_But... _

"I just have one condition." Smiling, I do my best to make sure it doesn't twist into my infamous smirk.

"Hmm?" Seeming thrilled that I accepted so simply, he grins in return.

"I want Shizuo to stay here too."


	3. Chapter 3

"EHHHH?" The sound Shinra makes in reply to my request is a mixture of a shriek of terror and half-questioning disbelief.

_That's okay. _

_I knew it would be shocking for him. He should understand why I'm saying this... But he doesn't really need to. Convincing Shizu-chan would be the real challenge. _

"Yeah, I want Shizuo to stay here too." I confirm that I'm serious by calling the brute his given name instead of my beloved nickname for him.

"But.. why? And I don't want my house destroyed. Plus! You are in no shape to be fighting!"

_If he really wanted me to stay, then he would do it. Then again, me staying here isn't really a huge deal, but I can't just invite Shizu-chan to stay at my place. Even if I paid him, I doubt he would and even if he did, I would probably die before I had a chance to hand him the check._

"Do you really think I intend to fight him in my condition? No. I need him to stay for insurance, okay? No more questions."

Shinra nods his head slowly, seeming to understand what I meant as 'insurance.'

_I just need the brute to stay just in case the dreams keep coming back and I need some real sleep. I don't care what Shinra says. I can't take anymore of those dreams. _

_I'm done with them. _

_If I want to sleep, I'll just piss Shizu-chan off enough... end of story. _

Shinra nods again, "Yeah, if you go spazzing out like you did the other day, there's no way that I'll be able to control you like he did."

He seems down, like he's already giving up on the fight against the monster's hate for me. He must really want me to stay if he's even going to try.

Eventually, he leaves the room and tells me to stay put and comfortable.

_Ahh... _

_Alone at last! _

I sigh, shifting on the bed into what I hope will be a more comfortable position.

_No. _

_As much as I thought I wanted it... I don't want to be alone. _

_Maybe part of the reason I don't want to go back home is because of how lonely I was. I couldn't talk about my irritating thoughts, my research, nothing. Even Celty's head was losing its right to be a therapist. This isn't something that I need to figure out just for some pay. This is for my health, and maybe tossing ideas around with a few others can help me. That is, as long as it stays confidential._

_Plus, I love humans, and if there is anything on this earth that can make me feel more Izaya-like then it is being around humans. _

After finding my clothes folded on the counter, I put them on. Reaching in to my jacket pocket, I pull out and open my phone. The time indicates that what I thought was early morning light, were actually the last rays of sunlight disappearing.

_I really must have slept a long time! _

I peek down to the date.

_4 DAYS!? _

_I slept for 4 days... _

_That means today is Saturday. I guess that's why Shizu-chan is here. _

"I did what you asked me to! You can't possibly expect me to stay here with him! The first time he says something wrong I'll end up tearing the house down!"

_And there it is. That shouting, that unmistakable shouting. _

"But Shizuo! You did so great dealing with him before! You didn't even hit him untill you had to and you ignored him when he tried to provoke you! Honestly, it didn't even look like you wanted to hit him."

_And there was that voice... Shinra: The Peacekeeper. _

_'...Didn't even look like you wanted to hit him?' _

_Shinra, lies like that are going a bit too far. _

I open the door and step into the living room just as Shizuo began his comeback. Interestingly enough, he does it in a soft tone though he still seems just as irritated;

"You saw him, Shinra. You saw what he looked like." His reply is a half yell, half whisper and from what I can tell from this angle, he is pointing at Shinra as he speaks. "He's not right and you know it." He pauses. "He's not right."

_I'm not right? What exactly does he mean by that? That I'm wrong? Wrong about what? Wrong based on my looks?_

And with that, the idiot walks to the door and lets himself out. I'm surprised he didn't yank the door off the hinges in anger.

_What the hell was he going on about? I hope he doesn't mean mentally... That man shouldn't have the ability to assess my mental health much less argue with Shinra about it. _

_And I guess he won't be staying after all... _

_Damn brute. _

Shinra doesn't move from his spot for a moment, his eyes focused on the floor. Humming softly, I lean against the wall and cross my arms.

_So, this is it. I'm on my own to fight my demons. No get out of jail free cards. Honestly, I thought it would please him to know that I would eventually ask him to do the honors. Free permission to beat me, especially in the head. What more could he ask for? _

_No. _

_He must enjoy seeing me in pain. Seeing me suffer. _

_'He's not right and you know it. He's not right.' _

_Hmm... _

"I'm not right?" I ask, breaking the silence and startling the doc a bit.

He practically growls, not hiding his frustration one bit. Grabbing my arm, he pulls me to a framed mirror on the wall staring me in the eyes.

"Izaya, look at yourself!"

"Geez, what is it?" I snatch my arm away from him before turning to the mirror. It's a smaller one, about the size of a picture frame. It only shows my face and I shrug, turning back to him.

"Yeah? What about it? I guess I could use a shower... and a haircut...?"

He grabs my chin roughly and steers it back to the mirror. "Look again!"

I look over my face and to my eyes, "Ahh! Yes! I guess that night of sleep really did make a difference! Wait no... Those four days worth of sleep." I correct myself and smile brightly, pulling my cheeks down to get a better look at the bags under my eyes. They are a tiny bit lighter than before. "Heh, I haven't looked this good in weeks."

Shinra stares at me dumbfounded. "You look terrible! Your face looks thin and fragile and you have huge dark circles under your eyes! You're pale as a ghost! How long has it been since you've eaten anything?!"

I can't help but giggle at him; he really has no idea what I've been through. I wasn't even joking when I told him I haven't looked this good in a while.

"Well, at least 4 days," I say sarcastically, as if he should've at least had enough common sense to figure that out.

_I really should stop taking so much of this out on him. He's only trying to help but still... Something seems really... off with him. Not to mention my own patience and irritability are getting the best of me. _

_I've gone without seeing him for months at a time; he's never sent the cavalry out for me before... Why now? _

I was just about to ask him about it when he headed off to the kitchen, breaking my train of thought.

"Eh, Shinra? Do you want some help?" I ask as he began opening cabinets and setting things out. I assume he is going to make me something 'healthy' to eat.

Shinra turns away from me as he nods. His face is void of emotion and if anything, had a touch of sadness in it. That was never him. He was ALWAYS happy about everything unless something was wrong with Celt-Oh.

_I haven't seen her. _

_Oh no. _

That's why he brought Shizuo instead of her. Probably why he wanted me to stay with him too.

_I wonder where she's gone off to... Shinra must be devastated. _

_I'll leave it alone for now. _

X.x.X.x.X

I assisted him, making the meal in silence. He looked as if something was bothering him; As if he had something he wanted to say but eventually gave up.

The food is good, Since it is more my taste than that convenient store garbage I had been eating. Just a week after the onset of these godforsaken dreams, I was cooking a nice meal, but while I was cooking I'd fallen asleep, passed out on the floor and let everything burn. I awoke to the smell of burnt fish and a fire in my oven. I put everything out but... I never fixed the stove. I just left it all, Since I was too tired to deal with it. And that was the start of buying my meals at the convenient store and ordering take out from the places that delivered around there.

It was disgusting, absolutely disgusting, but unfortunately I had to eat. Plus it was cheap and I spent many wasted dollars on food I had purchased only to fall asleep just seconds after opening it.

Not that money is really any concern of mine.

"Why Shizuo?" The voice throws me out of my thoughts as my head tilts to the side.

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you want Shizuo to stay and be your 'insurance'? Anyone can knock you out," Shinra states plainly, taking another bite as he waits for my reply.

"Ah, well... It's not like you would do it... and I haven't seen Celty around..."

Yeah, I chose to sneak that in. I chose my words carefully as if he was a client and I was digging for info, like any other day. Maybe it is healthier for me to stay here. At least I'm getting the brain stimulation that I need.

"Yeah..." He pauses and looks at his food. It is the first time of the day that I haven't seen that pitiful distant look in his eye.

He smirks as I study his face. "She.. Umm.. She went off to look for her head. She said she's been doing research behind my back and well, she got some tip off that it was somewhere in the USA." As he finishes his sentence something flashes in his eyes. He let it go as he continues to eat.

"And you think I had something to do with it."

He waits a few seconds waving his head to either side as if he was trying to make a hard decision, before replying. "Well, yeah. I thought so at first... but then I found out you hadn't been taking any clients. I tried contacting you many, many times, but you never answered and I gave up. Eventually, I figured you were either dead, kidnapped, on some big mission for information or... going psycho."

"How long has she been gone?" I ask, adding some faux sympathy to my voice.

"A little under a month, probably three weeks." He sighs, finishing the last bite before standing to take his dish to the kitchen.

He yells over his shoulder as he walks. "At first, I wanted to blame you. Her head is here; well, at your house. I wanted to blame you for having it. It would be easier for me to deal with if I didn't know where it was. Then I wanted to blame you for giving her that information. I thought maybe you had said that to make her give up, thinking that she wouldn't go that far. Once I heard that you weren't taking clients, I let it all go. Oh well. It's not your fault."

He hung his head as he sighs, standing at the sink. "I guess it was all just a fantasy to think that maybe, just maybe, she would forget about it and know that I love her with or without her head."

_So, I guess such an unconditional love does exist. _

"My only fear is that she won't come back. She hasn't called; maybe she's still angry at me for withholding so much information while she was searching all those years."

After finishing my food, I place my dish in the sink but as I walk to the counter Shinra drops to his knees.

Maybe he hasn't been eating. Maybe he's depressed...

I walk over to help him up but the closer I get, the more noticeable the shaking of his shoulders become.

_I've never comforted someone before. _

_Well... _

_Not sincerely. _

I stand here frozen as his tears fall from his cheeks and on to the carpet.

"Forget it! How could she love me anyways? After all I've done to her? I really am heartless." He yells, hitting the ground with his fist and fully believing that he is in fact that heartless monster that he accuses himself to be.

_No. _

_You aren't the one who's heartless. _

_Haha, what am I thinking at a time like this? I'm not heartless, I love all of my humans._

My hands clench into fists but I remain frozen, completely unable to show the _'love'_ that I have for my humans.

I scan through my memories quickly, trying to remember anything, any time that I had to console someone. A time when I meant something, actually meant what I was saying, doing. A time when I wasn't...

_Fake. _

This was Shinra, he would know if I was putting up a facade.

Opening my mouth, I am finally able to say something even if it is only a few words, still hoping that my message would get across.

"You're wrong."

Shinra immediately looks up at me for only a moment before wiping his face on his sleeve.

"Ahh, sorry Izaya! I really must have put you in a predicament. It's okay, I know that you care." He sniffles away his tears before mentioning the time and heading off to bed.

_Oh, you know that I care? _

I stand still, confused.

_Humans... _

I shake off my temporary incapacitation only to head to the same bed that I spent 4 days unconscious in.

_'It's okay, I know that you care.'_

I let his words echo through my head.

_Do I? _

"Haha, how do you know?" Chuckling as I repeat the words, I look to the open window.

_How can you know something that I don't? _

_About myself? _

_What am I saying...? _

_Even if I do see him above those petty humans... he still **is** human. He will still look for those same connections from those that are close to him. He assumes I care and probably doesn't even believe it himself judging by the way he ran off to bed so quickly. _

_He'd rather be alone than have my company at a time when he's upset. _

Yawning, I stare at the moon shining brightly into my room.

_I won't dare fall asleep. _

_I refuse. _

_I won't go back to that place. _

_But..._

_I can't just sit here... in someone else's house. _

After grabbing all of my things, I jump out of the open window and into the moonlight as if it was calling me. Landing on the fire escape, I run down the steps all the way to the bottom and jump off. Raising my hood over my head, I carefully hide my face on the walk to my apartment.

_Don't look at me. _

_Don't remember me like this. _

_I am fearful. _

_Know that I am Orihara Izaya. You will regret crossing my path negatively. _

As I made the first step into my home I feel relief wash over me. No one noticed me or maybe it was too dark to see the condition of my face. Either way, I made it, pride and reputation intact.

_But what about Shizu-chan? Will he tell the world of my tales? Of my troubles? _

_Nah. _

_It's not like him; it doesn't benefit him in any way. The only thing he wants to do is keep me away from him. _

_Ha! Too bad he doesn't have the brain power to come up with a plan to blackmail me. _

_He would certainly succeed with me in my current state. _

* * *

After gathering up my papers and my laptop, I headed back to Shinra's, sneaking back into the window. I looked over the papers till morning. I still couldn't decipher anything. I looked up night terrors and was able to find out some things about it, but no way to stop it.

_Well, there were some 'theoretical' treatments but I need hard evidence, yes and no. _

_I looked up the psychology of sleep. _

_Psychology was something that I thought I understood well... but the fabric of dreams? It's all foreign to me. I've... well... I've never really dreamt like this before. _

_Maybe something triggered it. _

I thought of the many things, the many, many things that I did the day, the week, the month before. Thinking of anything at all that could have triggered this strange phenomenon happening to me. The few things that I can think of don't really seem like triggers to me.

_Will I always be terrified of sleep? _

Shinra awoke just after the sun came up, greeting me with a lecture for not getting any sleep.

_Is he dumb? He really doesn't understand just how badly I don't want to go back there. _

_I refuse. _

_My mind has already been made up. _

The next three or four days went on the same. A monotonous routine other than the soreness in my muscles from my outing the other night. Everything happening all over again, just with a different result. The only upside being that I have an easier time staying up because the new found hate I have for my dreams, including practically putting me at the mercy of the one person I hate.

My eyes get heavier as the days go by and the research is once again at a halt. Again, that stupid song doesn't exist. There is nothing further that I can find out. Well, other than an extreme case that I was able to dig up.

Kai Shima, age 23, suffers from severe night terrors to the point of mental damage. He is currently hospitalized in an asylum just outside of Shinjuku. His doctor by the name of Sato Hideki, has been seeing him weekly with no results for 5 years.

_Hideki? I know that name... _

_When is Shinra ever going to get a hold of that doctor he was talking about? _

_I should go see this Kai-san soon and- _

_I blinked. _

_I just blinked... that's all. _

One small involuntary gesture and here I am. Raising my head from a park bench, I grab it in my hands. Huge waves of pain washing over me, I sigh inside wishing for it all to be over.

_But, it's bright. _

The moon is shining over me brightly and there is no dark figure to be found. No haunting feeling. Just this... odd... determination?

_I must get up there! _

A small mountain the size of a five-story building presents itself in front of me.

Running at full speed, I begin sprinting up the mountain and to my dismay, I fall weakly back to the ground. Rocks, dirt and tufts of grass following me, hitting me on the face and on random places of my body.

Tumbling over and over again down this hill that I'm trying to climb, that tune mocking me as I fail miserably. The only thing I want, and the only thing I care about is getting up that hill, that mountain. My body is bruised and bleeding.

_Why can't I get up there? _

_I can't climb. What happened to my skills? I have amazing parkour skills... this should be nothing for me. _

Instead I focus on the song. The tune ringing in my ears, I listen carefully, every word as I attempt to climb the mountain.

"I lay my silence down in a dream

Something sacred or so it would seem,"

But as I focus, my breathing becomes weak and ragged and I... I'm screaming again. Frowning, I try desperately to get up this obstacle.

"For it lies asleep in the precious dark

A pearl hidden deep behind snide remark,"

And as I almost reach the top, my hands trembling and the fear returning, I peek up.

But he's there...

The dark figure holds out a hand to help me up.

"Wha-?"

Screaming, I keep my eye fixated on it, trying my hardest to face my fear, tears streaming down my face as I watch it.

I tell myself I can do this. I chant it over and over. I focus on it, blocking out that god forsaken melody.

The tune is getting louder, almost as if it is trying to catch my attention but I can no longer hear the words. I can't concentrate on anything, not the song, not the figure, not my own thoughts, just the fear as I slowly reach my shaking hand to the one held out before me.

_I just... _

_I can't! _

The overwhelming terror takes over me and I continue yelling at the top of my lungs, rolling down the hill for the last time. I hit the ground for the hundredth time it seems, hearing faint words that I cannot decipher.

I close my eyes as I feel the bench beneath me, my nausea almost getting the better of me. I can feel the figure looking at me, watching me.

Still reading all of my weaknesses.

Though as I open my eyes, I'm met with a room full of ragged breaths and yelling, for once not only my own.

Though I still can't see a thing...

"Why didn't you just knock him out!?"


	4. Chapter 4

"It's what he wants!"

It's taking too long for my vision to clear, and the nausea makes itself well known. Clutching my stomach, the side of the bed comes into view. My other hand grips the mattress as my body lunges forward, emptying my stomach of anything I might have eaten. The sour taste of bile reminds me that it couldn't have been much of anything. After coughing and heaving a few more times, I eventually lie my head down.

Luckily, Shinra must have noticed my ill feeling because he managed to get a bucket beneath me. I feel a little better knowing that I didn't cause too much of a mess.

As I start to think about what had just happened and how I fell asleep, a towel is brought to my face and starts wiping my mouth. I just let it happen, laying there still with eyes fixated on the wall, feeling eased by the fact that I can finally see.

Feeling a bit of relief as the ache in my stomach fades, I sit up. Looking at Shizu-chan, I watch him catch his breath on the small couch at the far wall.

_Had I been 'flailing' around again? _

_Is that where the bruises are coming from? And the uncomfortable feeling, the pain in my body as I awake?_

_Have I been doing this the entire time? Alone in my apartment?_

Everything is suddenly starting to make sense.

Not long after the dreams started happening and I sent Namie-san away, the police started showing up. They would always ask me if someone was in my apartment and I would let them have a look around. Though it was messy, they really couldn't find anything worthy of issue. I finally asked them why they kept coming and they said that they were getting complaints at least once a week that someone was screaming in my apartment. Both the people living to the right and left of me were complaining. I just figured they were trying to get me to move out- after all, there were a lot of shady people coming and going from my apartment.

But maybe_ I was_ screaming...

And waking up feeling like I'd been beaten by Shizu-chan all night was ridiculous.

_I've been screaming and beating myself up by tossing my body around in my sleep._

_I really am going nuts._

_People, you were all correct. Orihara Izaya has lost his mind... at least unconsciously. _

_Can I really be cured?_

Drifting my gaze from the tired out Shizu-chan to my caring friend, I catch my own breath. I swallow, attempting to wet my dry, sore throat as Shinra leaves the room.

Grabbing a towel from the table beside me, I wipe my face still trying to calm my breath. A mixture of tears, mucus and sweat being wiped away.

As I recover, I catch myself watching Shizu-chan once more.

_Is he really helping me?_

I stop myself from uttering an apology for making him go through this.

_Isn't it ironic?_

I want to scream that I don't need him to help me and at the same time I feel a tug at my chest as I had nothing to offer him in return. That's how I work. Kindness doesn't come free, not to me and not from me. When I want to weasel someone into my debt that's what I do, I help them out for free and then use it as leverage for their assistance in something later on. Who would want to be kind without 'benefit?'

_What is it that he will require from me later when he realizes that I owe **him** now? _

Breaking me from my thoughts, Shinra comes back into the room and hands me a glass of water. I take it gratefully and immediately chug it down. Shinra, patiently waiting for me to finish my drink, pulls out a pen light from his coat. As I hand him the empty cup he shines the mini beam into my eyes, effectively blinding me.

"I'm here, I'm here. I'm awake," I say as I cover my eyes with my hand and pull away from him.

I hug my raised knees to my chest as my body continues to shiver.

"Can you call that doctor now?" I ask, trying not to sound as pitiful as I feel.

Shinra sighs. "Yes, I'll give it another shot."

Finally, as that doctor leaves the room and I lay back, taking in a deep breath.

I'm too scared to close my eyes, too scared to blink, too scared to do anything that could plunge me back into that darkness.

_Anything but that..._

Staring at the ceiling, I can hear Shizuo's sleeping breaths fill the room. Whatever happened must have really worn him out and for him, that's really saying something. I let a melancholic chuckle escape; I'm the only one who can tire him out. It seems I've found a new way to do exactly that.

Fighting rest, I stay awake for a few hours watching out the window. The bright light stings my tired eyes. It won't be much longer before the sun goes down.

My thoughts are cut off by Shinra walking into the room who says, "He'll be here tomorrow."

"Great!" I shout, paying no mind to the fact that Shizu-chan's still sleeping.

"Oh, looks like he fell asleep." Shinra looks over to him with an expression I can only describe as pity."I thought he had already left."

"No. He's been here."

"I see, I'm surprised you didn't kill him in his sleep, but then again that wouldn't be very fun for you would it?"

"Exactly." I say but my gaze travels away from him. The thought of killing Shizu-chan never even crossed my mind.

"Ahh, well I need to go out and treat a client. Can you promise not to destroy my house while I'm gone?"

I snicker, "Sure, as long as he stays asleep."

The illegal doctor glares at me before waving his good-bye and leaving.

_Good luck. I can't really promise that your house won't fall apart by the time you come back though. _

My gaze wanders back to the window. Since these nightmares started, the clouds, the sky, and especially the moon have seemed somewhat calming and intriguing. Maybe I've just become more aware of the night sky, or maybe it's because of my dreams. All three different dreams are set at night time.

_Ahh, I'm glad. The sooner the doctor gets here- the better. _

Seeing Shizuo sleeping kind of makes me feel nostalgic. I used to catch him sleeping on the roof at school, though usually to his dismay. I smile a bit, remembering the tricks I used to play on him. I used to draw on his face, tie his laces together, put stuff in his hand and then tickle his nose and even steal his cigarettes. Eventually things got more serious and I started telling the authorities that he was skipping after cutting up his uniform, forcing him to get caught nearly naked.

I can't help snorting as I recall it all. Too bad I'm not up for it now, since I need to be on Shinra's good side in order to get his friend's help.

Although, all this suddenly reminds me that we are Ikebukuro's strongest in a room together, peacefully. I chuckle to myself again at the irony and pull my laptop to my lap. Opening it up, I go to the Dollars website. I hadn't been on in such a long time because of my issues and I'd wasted all my time trying to do research.

_As I said before, research, eat, sleep.. that was all I did. _

Now that I'm logged in, I'm able to see the different posts and speculations that were made about me. Knowing that Shizu-chan reads these things too makes me even more uneasy. Many of the posts are rumors about where I had been, like on a leave of some sort. Some people were happy hearing that I had gone off to the USA or other countries for some information or with some person I had fallen in love with. Most of the posts though, were about Shizuo taking me out, finally killing me.

_Was he happy? Happy knowing that everyone pretty much blames him for my 'disappearance?' _

_No._

_Not blamed..._

_But praised and thanked him for my absence._

_Let them think as they wish. I'll make my come back. Besides, what do I care of what they think of me?_

The posts even go on to say that the police wouldn't touch Shizu-chan over it because it was a favor to society.

_Hah, a favor to society. I love humans. Loving me back isn't that hard, is it?_

Thinking about hopping on one of my many fake accounts and adding to the speculations, I happen to look down at my hands. Cringing at the sight, I dig desperately trying to rid the skin and blood from beneath my nails.

_Disgusting._

Dried blood haunts me, reminding me of how I tried my hardest to climb up that mountain. A shower is in order. Now.

Placing my laptop back on the side-table, I get up to take a shower. Staggering on my way, I curse this house, curse my lack of strength and most of all- I curse Shizuo. That bastard who can sleep through my torment and bring me down with out even opening an eye. Noticing that my weak physical nature grows with each day I don't sleep is frustrating.

_Who am I kidding? I'm like this on days that I do sleep. _

Thinking over it a bit more, I feed off the random bursts of energy that come and go. Using this particular one, I undress and start the shower.

The water is warm on my back, soothing my sore body. I look much skinnier than normal and my hair has grown longer, hanging over my face. I wonder briefly what I might look like to others.

Taking care in my movements, I wash up while making sure to lightly massage my aching muscles.

_Hah, maybe I** should** run off to some other country with someone. Maybe then I can get a massage or someone to wash me every now and then. _

_That would be nice, though I can just pay someone for a massage. Have someone wash my back? Hah, that must be my 'condition' speaking._

Forcing myself away from _those_ kind of thoughts, I step out of the shower and wrap the towel around me. The realization hit me that I didn't bring any clothes. Sighing at myself, I walk to my room finding that the only thing to wear are nurse scrubs hanging in the closet. Paying no mind to Shizu-chan, I quickly put them on, flinching as I hear him shift on the couch. The sleeping guy stretches and yawns, waking up... Or so I thought, instead he smiles and turns over away from me, falling asleep once more.

I huff yet another sigh of relief, noticing that the sun had gone down. Every breath I hear, be it mine or his, is like a lullaby trying to put me back into that horrid place.

_How can something so pleasant sounding bring me such suffering?_

_I have to fight it... n__o matter what._

The doctor will be here tomorrow, I remind myself. I just need to hold out until then.

So here I sit, Indian style on a bed I've spent the majority of my time on while watching out the window. I peek at the moon, suddenly feeling a tightness in my chest as it seems to glare back at me. The memory of the dream, moonlight, and my ultimate failure as I slept rushing through my mind.

_Why?_

_Why this?_

_What now?_

_And why Shizu-chan? _

Shinra opens the door startling me, noticeably happy to see his place still in one piece. Smiling at Shizuo, he mumbles something about dinner and attempts to leave the room. Instead, he stops while turning to me.

"And how are you?"

"Fine," I state, allowing my mind to wander as he simply turns and leaves.

I stay lost in thought, keeping my mind off anything that dealt with sleep. Many things that I wish hadn't,_ had _popped into my head.

For instance, sneaking over to Shizu-chan's school when I finished classes early. I also remember the many bumps and bruises that it took to gain the parkour skills that I now possess. All of a sudden, these memories didn't seem so pleasant.

_Shizu-chan sure has done a number on me all of these years. _

_Why do I bother with him? Ugh, I need to get out of here. Being stuck in here with him must be making me think more than I would like._

Standing up I leave the room, hoping that I wouldn't wake him.

From what I could tell, Shinra had finished dinner and headed to bed, leaving the left overs in two containers in opposite sides of the fridge. It was as if he thought we were going to jump in and try to get them at the same time.

_Geez, exactly how petty does he think we are?_

As I stand in the area lit by the fridge light, I can hear the bedroom door open, and I watch as Shizu-chan comes into view. My face is of no emotion, I make sure of it because to be honest, I really don't know how to feel or what to say.

"Mornin', Flea." I hear him say.

I let the nickname slide, it really did have a different ring to it when it wasn't being screamed at the top of his lungs.

"It's the middle of the night." I answer as he makes himself a glass of milk, stepping between me and the opening of the fridge to do so.

"Mmmk. Night, Flea," he yawns.

"Are you going back to bed?"

_Geez, this guy sure can sleep. _

"No, but you said it's night so I corrected myself."

_Or not..._

He still sounds tired, voice deeply reverberating with each word.

"Ah... I see."

_What the hell do you say in this type of situation? _

_This is too calm. I don't like it._

Finally, I grab the container of left-over food with the written name "Izaya" on it. As soon as I try to pull it I realize it had a hand on it already. Lifting my head, I glare as my enemy glares back at me.

"This has my name on it." I try to politely state, though I'm sure my eyes don't give the same impression.

"Yeah, and you're in the way of mine."

I chuckle, "Well, then. Let me get mine and you can get yours when I move."

"I'm hungry now, Flea," he growls.

"It will take two seconds for me to move."

"Yeah, then I have to wait for you to use the microwave."

"We both know neither of us are going to move until we get our way, isn't that right? So just give it up, Shizu-chan," I say but to my dismay he snatches the container from my grip and runs into the living room and I try to keep up, following behind him.

"You're right, so I'll just take it," he says as I corner him.

"Just give it back," I say, holding a hand out for my food.

"I don't think so!" He jumps on the couch as I try to guess his next move. He only has two options to choose from, left or right unless he's going to break the coffee table and come straight at me. Trying to trick me, he acts as if he's going left sometimes, and right the next. He smiles as I stand in place still waiting for his move. Instead (of course), he jumps clear over the table and sprints past me. I turn, feeling a little surprised by his action as I follow on his trail down the hall.

Breathing heavily and coughing as my body tries to catch up to his, I finally corner him once again in the spare bedroom. He stares at me from his standing position on the bed. I giggle at him, watching him calculate the distance with his eyes. He tries the same move as before but this time I stick my leg out.

_I am __**not**__ going to fall for that one twice._

Shizu-chan falls to the floor and rolls onto his back, trying to keep the container from being squashed under his body. He does a double-take on the food container just to make sure it was still okay and hops up, once again heading towards the door.

That's when I notice it- Shizu-chan is _**smiling.**_

_Had he missed our fights in Ikebukuro? _

Realizing that this is not the right time to dwell on awkward thoughts, I catch him darting into Celty's old room. He shuts the door as I walk over. I try with all my might to open the door but I can't. I'm still too weak.

Eventually I give up, putting my hands on my knees to catch my breath.

"Fine." I sneer with a chuckle, walking away.

Hearing a gasp and a loud thud from inside the room, I can feel my heart race with panic. Bolting towards the fridge, I use the convenience of my socks to slide across the tile.

_Come get me Shizu-chan!~ _

Just as I grab the container with his name on it, Shizuo makes it into the kitchen.

"Haha! What now, Shizu-chan?"

"You know what? I don't care if you eat it," he lies, looking away.

"Oh?" I ask, challenging him with my signature smirk to hide my genuine amusement.

I open the lid slowly, watching him as his eyes snap back to me. At this distance there still isn't much he can do, though I'm still on guard. Reaching in, I grab a piece of chicken and stick it in my mouth, his eyes widening as my lips close around it.

Everything seems slow motion. Him lunging toward me, tackling below the rib cage, the container flying in to the air, sliced cabbage, carrots and chicken falling on top of the both of us as we land on the tile-

-He looks up at me, staring into my eyes as I glare back at his.

_I just have to have the last word; I just have to win. _

Reaching beside me, I grab a handful of the food, his eyes following my hand and growing more hostile the closer it gets to my mouth.

Suddenly, he rises from his place above me and pulls my legs up as he stands, holding me upside down and causing me to drop the food.

"What the hell, Shizu-chan!?"

"Hehe, you poor thing," he mocks.

While upside down, I am able to see that just the top layer of the food had fallen out and the container had landed on the ground right side up.

Smiling to myself, I discreetly replace the cap, "You jerk. What am I going to eat now?" I ask in mock distress.

"Pshh, who cares?" He scoffs, still holding me upside down by one leg, his other hand securing the container with my name on it.

I kick my other leg trying to knock it from his hand and in defense he drops me. Sitting up immediately, I open the drawer beside me and pull out a fork which I throw at him with perfect aim. Unfortunately, he uses the container to block it, the fork sticking into the lid. Smiling slyly, he plucks the fork from the lid and opens it as he takes a seat at the table.

"Thanks." He says happily, knowing I'm too beat in my current state to try anything more.

"Ugh, whatever." I sigh as I grab another fork for myself. While walking to the table, Shinra finally appears out of his room wondering what was causing the commotion.

"What. The. Hell?"

I'm sure we must look funny because Shinra stares as Shizu-chan eats out my container and I out of his. There is random pieces of food in our hair, our cheeks are red from running, and we're glaring furiously at each other as we eat from the other's share.

Shinra eventually just laughs. "You two are cleaning this up."

_What was that I was saying about not being petty?_

_Oops..._


End file.
